This article is part 3 of the series “Anger Held Within The Body Brought Me Arthritis - My Healing Journey ”. If you haven’t yet read the last one, you can find it here: Shadow work releases pain, bringing in the light. Let's dive in!
This is just one puzzle piece in the process of this healing, releasing and clearing, and here I start with forgiveness. I have to forgive myself. What took me so long to realize within all of the work I’ve done on myself throughout the years, (silly me) is that although there are others who have hurt me, I was the primary person that hurt me and I had to forgive myself in order to help bring the light back into my bones and especially my hip with arthritis. Fear does crazy things to a person and because I was truly fearful that if I don’t release it all before my surgery, I may end up in a worse predicament physically at some point in the future.
This article is part 2 of the series “Anger Held Within The Body Brought Me Arthritis - My Healing Journey”.
Now let’s dive in! What is shadow work? The shadow is a psychological term for everything we can’t see in ourselves. It’s the “dark side” of our personality and is called this because it consists mainly of primitive, negative human emotions like anger, envy, greed, selfishness, and things of this nature. And make no mistake, the dark side of you, will most certainly wreak havoc within the physical body like it did with me. So shadow work is digging through the trenches of the dark side in us and working to release it so that we can bring that side of our personality back into the light.
If you are looking to dig more into the dark side, here’s a great article by Carl Jung, Aion (1951). Carl Jung and the Shadow: The Ultimate Guide to the Human Dark Side
“The shadow is a moral problem that challenges the whole ego-personality, for no one can become conscious of the shadow without considerable moral effort. To become conscious of it involves recognizing the dark aspects of the personality as present and real. This act is the essential condition for any kind of self-knowledge.”
— Carl Jung, Aion (1951)
This entire year’s articles will be a series of healing articles on my arthritic hip healing journey and then the healing after arthroscopic surgery of the hip. I’ve been dealing with pain in my hip due to arthritis for the past couple of years now. When I had it checked out, I was told by my orthopedic that although too young now, I will at some point need a new hip due to degenerative arthritis. This less than wonderful news was so very upsetting but for me, but it was now time to ramp up my healing with Reiki. Then, it was back to business as usual. So back to my workouts as there’s really nothing to do just yet but deal with the occasional arthritis pain and continue with Reiki to help.
During one of my workouts last April, I realized that something was terribly wrong. After the workout and the day after, I didn’t have the usual pain feeling like I did a hell of a workout. It was a sharp continuous pain which we discovered shortly after through an arthrogram MRI, that I now had labral tear. Holy cow, that pain was awful and continued to be awful for the rest of the year, even with Reiki, physical therapy and prolotherapy injections to promote natural healing! When I felt like enough was enough, my doctor and I decided that for me, it was on to arthroscopic surgery to repair the tear in my labrum and whatever else they find in there. This surgery took place on January 30th, 2020.
The next series of articles were written as a recap of the healing that had taken place over the course of the past year and a half to where I am now after surgery, and all of the different modalities that I’ve used during the process. It is my hope that through my writing, people reading my articles will see that there is no healing modality that is one and done. True healing takes place over the course of your lifetime and sometimes even when you think you’ve moved past a particularly difficult life experience, chances are you may not have released as much of that issue as you think. So over the next few months, I will share with you the transformational process of healing that occurred while working on the arthritis in my hip, along with the many different healing modalities I used and how they’ve helped me during a very difficult and painful time in my life. Hopefully traveling through my personal healing journey, everyone seeks the help they may need by learning that we are all unique. And so too is our process, which is why I tell all of my clients to please be patient, as healing anything is definitely a process.
I’ve been practicing Reiki now for over 10 years and am now a Reiki Master Teacher and a Medical Reiki Master. My teachings of Reiki are very personal to me in the fact that I’ve learned the hard way that emotional pain held within long enough, does in fact, wreak havoc in your physical body. The proof for me was cancer twice! Sadly, it took some time for me to digest, but let that sink in! Emotional pain held within me created cancer in my body TWICE!
Some time ago, I wrote an article about how "Internalized emotions turn into physical pain". What I didn’t know at the time is that pain that sometimes comes to you in the form of arthritis, a deterioration on your bones, and could be due to holding onto anger. I learned this from a beautiful light worker, Rita V Klyauzova who, through Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique. She was able to show me exactly what was being held inside of me. Through Rita’s form of healing, she helped me learn that I still needed to forgive those past emotional pains that I was holding on to so tightly apparently.
My fear was that if I didn’t do the work of releasing all of my emotional stuff before the surgery, the arthritis issue may continue on with a vengeance or even worse in the same area. So, of course now I need to do some research and this is what I’ve found:
Release Fear and Anger to Heal Arthritis, July 9, 2019 written by Christiane Northrup, MD (1) “Pain of any kind has emotional roots. In fact, studies show that emotional factors are crucial to the development of R.A. The emotions associated with arthritis are usually unexpressed anger, resentment, aggression, criticism (of self and others), lack of support, and fear. Experts suggest that one reason women are afflicted with R.A four times more frequently than men is that women are taught from early childhood not to express anger.” (1)
I found another article written by Jeanette Raymond, PhD on September 9, 2012 called Unexpressed Anger And Stress Predispose Women To Rheumatoid Arthritis. (2) “A report in the Journal of Chronic Disease as long ago as 1964 reviewed the research on personality amount those with doctor diagnosed rheumatoid arthritis and found that sufferers tend to be self-sacrificing, masochistic, conforming, self-conscious, shy, inhibited, perfectionistic, and interested in sports and games.” (2)
I’ve done so much internal work throughout my life to be well, and after two bouts of cancer, I truly didn’t think I was still holding onto anything. I thought I had released all, if not most of the emotional pain in my past. Oh, boy was I wrong...the residual emotional pain of my past that was still being held within me, assisted the generative arthritis along and then due to the compromised hip, a labral tear was super easy to accomplish. I worked with Reiki every night while laying in bed on my hip, but the daily walking and living life didn’t help it heal at all as the arthritis helped it continue to deteriorate and fray the labrum.
Even after practicing Reiki for 10 years, helping others, and doing my own internal work, it appears that I still have a journey of healing ahead of me. The takeaway here that I’d like to share is that "forgiveness heals all". So forgiveness is where my journey begins.
If you are finding yourself in a place where your life is no longer working for you, find a healer that resonates with you, and allow them to help you find a way to change the dance in your life. And if you are on your own healing journey, I’ll remind you that healing is messy. And it takes time, so, be patient with yourself. Not my strong suit, I will admit, but this is why I’m sharing my story.
I’ve been fortunate enough to come across many different types of healers who have all helped me in my journey along the way. I was blessed to have found Rita, and she was brought to me by a client of mine. Words cannot even begin to thank either of them enough for the loving light and knowledge that was brought to me when our paths crossed. It just goes to show you that everything in life is divinely timed. It’s my time to release some things and fix up this hip.
My mission is to help people find the light, whether it’s through healing sessions I can provide, sharing another healers work, or through my own personal healing experiences that I have shared. If I can help even one person with any of these things, then I’m happy to have done so. Keep your eyes peeled for the next part of my healing journey:
Shadow work releases pain, bringing in the light! Let's dive in!
And please share this article with anyone you think may need to hear any of this!
Also, if you’re interested in learning more about Quantum Healing Hypnosis Therapy, please reach out to Rita V Klyauzova. Her work is amazing and we’ve been sharing healing practices with each other since we met. You’ll find Rita’s recap of her experience with Reiki and the Sound Infusion Meditation HERE at the bottom of the page. It’s truly wonderful to have another healer friend to share and practice with and on. You will be nothing short of amazed by her work! See her card below.
Another great read with useful information if you have the time:
Emotions like anger and sadness may cause pain as well as being a result of it by Marjorie S. Miller, Pennsylvania State University Sept 10, 2018
Love and Light to you!
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